Dementia and The Race Against Time: Why Every Family Story Matters Now

What if the most precious family heirloom isn't something you can hold in your hands, but the stories and memories that live within us? For my friend Julie Taggart, watching her mother's memories slip away to dementia became an urgent call to preserve not just the past, but the present moments that connect her family across generations.

"They say that when somebody has dementia or Alzheimer's, you lose them twice. The first time when they lose their memories, and the second time when they pass away."

But rather than letting this reality overwhelm her, Julie has transformed it into a mission to capture every precious memory she can – both the meaningful moments happening right now with her six children and the generations of stories that came before.

When Every Memory Matters

Two years ago, Julie covered a wall in her mother's nursing facility with family photos – snapshots of her mom's twin brother, childhood memories, family gatherings, and all the moments in between. Today, her mother may not recognize the faces in those photos, but for Julie's children, these images have become touchstones of their family story. Each visit to their grandmother becomes another thread in their own family narrative, teaching them about love that persists even when memories fade.

And sometimes, the simplest objects spark the most profound connections. A fill-in-the-blank family tree chart hanging in Julie's kitchen led to an extraordinary discovery during my visit to help her research her mysterious great-grandmother Madeline. There, among the names and dates she'd carefully filled in, I spotted familiar ancestors – Cornelius Lott and Permelia Darrow. In that moment, we realized we were fourth cousins, proving that family connections can be found in the most unexpected places.

The Whole Story

If you haven't heard Julie's touching story yet, take a moment to listen:

Prefer audio only? Click here to listen on your favorite podcast app.

🎧 Listen to the full episode to discover:

• How Julie balances preserving memories while raising six children ages 11 to 21
• The beautiful story of gathering 75 memories for her mother's 75th birthday
• Why she continues bringing her family to visit her mother, even when recognition fades
• How a simple family tree chart sparked an unexpected cousin connection
• The way she's teaching her children to value and preserve family stories

The Power of One Story

"We're all in a race of time to try to capture those stories," Julie reminds us. She's learned to pull over while driving to quickly text herself a memory that surfaces. She's created new traditions of celebrating holidays in her mother's care facility, showing her children that family connections adapt but don't break. Each memory preserved becomes a bridge between generations – past, present, and future.

Your Story

Think about the stories happening in your family right now. Which moments, seemingly ordinary today, might become precious memories tomorrow? How can you begin capturing these stories while they're still fresh and vivid?

Story Seeds 🌱

Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.

1. For Parents/Grandparents: "What's a small moment from your daily life that you wish your parents or grandparents had written down for you? What everyday details do you remember most vividly about them?"
2. For Adult Children: "Which family traditions from your childhood mean the most to you now? What details about those traditions would you want your own children to remember and carry forward?"
3. For Multiple Generations: "What's a seemingly ordinary moment we've shared together that became unexpectedly meaningful to you? Why do you think that particular memory has stayed with you?"
4. For Siblings/Extended Family: "What's your earliest memory of our mom/grandma? What small details about her - the way she laughed, how she made pancakes, what she always kept in her purse - do you want to make sure we never forget?"
5. For Young Children/Grandchildren: "If you could make a time capsule of our family right now, what three things would you put in it? What would you want people to know about our family fifty years from now?"

Story Sparks 🔑

Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.

1. Use the Ancestry mobile app to record audio memories whenever you think of a story or anecdote you want to be sure to preserve. Do the same when gathered with family members and capture not just the story they are sharing but their voice, too.
2. Create a shared folder on Google Drive and invite family members to share photos. Add a document with some “Story Seeds” and ask them to type up their answers. Then, once a week spend some time uploading these to your Ancestry tree, tagging the family members in the pictures or stories shared.
3. Get a fill-in-the-blank chart from Family Chartmasters, like the one that helped Julie and I discover our connection. (I recommend New York, Denver, or Boston.)  Or, if you’ve already got your family tree on Ancestry or FamilySearch, order a set-style chart and we’ll print it for you. (I recommend Berkeley, London, or Mesa.) And, as a special gift for my podcast listeners and blog readers, use the code "CristaFree" when ordering to get free shipping. Make sure to hang it in a prominent place in your home where your family can see it often and it can spark conversation.  Sometimes the simplest tools create the most meaningful discoveries.

The truth about family history is that it's not just about the past – it's about capturing the present before it becomes the past. Julie's story reminds us that every moment we spend with family is an opportunity to create and preserve memories that will connect generations, even when memories begin to fade.

Ready to learn more about preserving your family stories? Subscribe to Stories That Live In Us wherever you get your podcasts. And if this episode touched your heart, please leave us a rating and review – it helps other family story seekers find us.

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