Ancestors Are Complicated: When Family History Reveals Hard Truths

Have you ever uncovered a family story that completely changed how you view your ancestry? What happens when you discover your ancestors weren't just flawed, but actively fought for causes you now find troubling? And what if those discoveries could ultimately lead to healing for others?

That's the remarkable journey my guest Anne Mitchell shares in this week's episode of Stories That Live In Us. When she received a tattered family Bible missing its cover, she had no idea the handwritten note inside would not only reveal a complicated ancestor's story but eventually inspire tools that could help millions connect with their own family histories—including descendants of those once enslaved by people like her ancestors.

"This is not a story that will inspire you to go out and necessarily do good things, but it is fascinating, because I think it's a fascinating look into people and how they react to their times. And our ancestors are complicated."

The Story Hiding in a Tattered Bible

The story begins with an unusual family Bible—one missing its cover and beginning in Ecclesiastes rather than Genesis. As Anne flipped through its pages, past faded records of births and deaths, she discovered something extraordinary: a firsthand account written in 1861 about two of her ancestors, William and John Calvin Gillespie, enthusiastically heading off to fight for the Confederacy.

This single page became the key to unlocking a complex family narrative that would lead Anne down a path of discovery, confrontation, and ultimately, transformation.

Through meticulous research into military records, pension files, and newspaper archives, Anne uncovered the complete arc of John Calvin Gillespie's life: his eager enlistment in the Confederate Army, his capture and strategic decision to take an oath as a "galvanized Yankee" (Confederate prisoners who joined the Union Army), his desertion, and finally, his violent death in 1879—murdered with an axe during a dispute with a formerly enslaved man whose family he had refused to pay for work.

What makes this story so powerful isn't just its dramatic details but how it reveals the messy reality of our ancestors' lives—their questionable choices, their participation in systems we now condemn, and the ripple effects that continue through generations.

The Whole Story

If you haven't already listened to Anne's powerful story, take a moment to hear it directly:

Prefer audio only? Click here to listen on your favorite podcast app.

🎧 Listen to the full episode to discover:

• How a handwritten note in a family Bible launched Anne's deep dive into Civil War history
• The surprising journey of John Calvin Gillespie from enthusiastic Confederate to "galvanized Yankee"
• The shocking newspaper headlines about John Calvin's murder and its aftermath
• How Anne discovered ten direct ancestors who fought in the Civil War—five of whom were at the Battle of Antietam
• How Anne's research inspired Ancestry's new Networks feature, which helps users discover patterns and relationships among connected individuals

The Power of One Story

Anne's journey with her Civil War ancestors demonstrates how confronting uncomfortable truths about our family's past can lead to personal transformation and even create opportunities to help others.

"They absolutely were not [all stellar human beings], and I think that's part of doing family history is becoming comfortable with that. Not comfortable like I want to go be a non-stellar human being, but that's just who they were and that's okay... You can understand and then choose to move your life forward and make things better."

What began as personal research—tracking relatives through Civil War battles, noting relationships within companies, creating spreadsheets of soldiers—eventually evolved into something much bigger. Anne recognized patterns that could be meaningful not just for her own family story but for all researchers: the interconnections between people in military units, religious communities, schools, and even groups of enslaved people documented as property.

This realization led her to help develop the new Networks feature at Ancestry, which organizes historical records to reveal connections and patterns that transcend traditional family trees. Most poignantly, this technology now helps descendants of enslaved people reconnect with their own family stories—a healing counterpoint to the legacy of Anne's Confederate ancestors.

Your Story

Think about the complicated figures in your own family tree. How might understanding their full stories—not just the pleasant parts—help you better understand yourself? What could you learn by exploring the networks and communities they were part of, rather than just their individual timelines?

Story Seeds 🌱

Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.

1. For Parents/Grandparents: What's the most difficult truth you've discovered about our ancestors? How did learning that information change how you thought about your family?
   
2. For Siblings/Cousins: Do you remember any family stories that seemed innocent when we were kids but now seem more problematic with adult understanding? How do you make sense of those stories now?
   
3. For Older Relatives: How did the major historical events of your lifetime affect our family specifically? Were there divisions or disagreements about politics or social issues?
   
4. For All Family Members: If you could go back in time and ask one difficult question to an ancestor who made choices you disagree with, who would it be and what would you ask?
   
   

Story Sparks 🔑

Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.

1. In your Ancestry family tree you have a preset MyTreeTag for “military.” Consider creating custom tags for various conflicts your ancestors and their family members may have served in. Then, in addition to assigning a tag to all who served in the military, you can also tag those who served in specific wars.  For my tree, I’ve created the following:  U.S. Revolutionary War, U.S. War of 1812, U.S. Civil War Union, U.S. Civil War Confederate, WWI, WWII, and Gulf War.
2. Take one branch of your family tree and do a deep dive into all of the siblings, uncles, and cousins.  Look for service records across multiple generations to see what effect a single war had on the extended family group. Pay attention to which side they supported, their company information, and the battles they participated in. This can reveal patterns of family beliefs and values over time. Specifically, if you have ancestors who lived during the U.S. Civil War, check both Union and Confederate records, regardless of which side you believe they supported. Sometimes family lore doesn't match documented history, and you might be surprised by what you find.
3. Explore the new Networks feature on Ancestry to document communities your ancestors were part of. Looking at these connections can provide context for understanding the choices they made and it can reveal a deeper story.
   
   

As Anne's journey shows, family history isn't just about preserving pleasant memories or building a family tree of perfect people. It's about understanding the full complexity of the people whose choices and circumstances shaped your family's story—and using that understanding to make meaningful choices about your own legacy.

"For me, family history has been this journey of self-discovery. I think that's why—there are a lot of reasons why people get into family history, but I think at the end of the day, it's all about self-discovery. Who am I in the context of who came before me?"

Are you ready to dig deeper into the complicated stories in your family tree? Subscribe to Stories That Live In Us wherever you get your podcasts. If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review—it helps other family story seekers find us.

© 2025 Crista Cowan. All rights reserved.