Beyond the Family Tree: When Genealogy Becomes Quality Time

Ever notice how family history research can feel oddly isolating? There you are at 2 AM, bleary-eyed, staring at census records and DNA matches, while the rest of your family sleeps. But what if this solo pursuit could actually become one of your most meaningful ways to connect with family members? What if those late-night research sessions could transform into cherished quality time with someone you love?

That's exactly what happened when my dad and I discovered the magic of doing genealogy together. Every Sunday night at 9:30 PM, we meet virtually to unravel our family's past – a simple tradition that has lasted over seven years and transformed our relationship from father-daughter to best friends.

"The first thing it means to me is I get to at least once a week... I get to talk to you. If I could give anybody advice, the best advice I give them is when your children leave and go away, stay connected to them, because it's important." (Steve Cowan)

In this week's episode of Stories That Live In Us, I introduce you to one of my own storytellers – my dad, Steve Cowan. His journey into genealogy began at age five, sitting at his great-grandmother’s feet during family reunions, trying to make sense of how dozens of cousins connected to each other. That early fascination with family connections sparked a lifelong passion that he would later share with me, proving that family history doesn't have to be a solitary pursuit.

The Whole Story

Haven’t listened to my conversation with my dad yet? Watch it here.

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🎧 Listen to the full episode to discover:

• How my dad's early exposure to family stories shaped his understanding of connection
• The contrast between his two sets of grandparents and how their different approaches to family influenced him
• Why having photos displayed throughout our home wasn't just decoration – it was intentional family storytelling
• How our weekly Sunday night sessions have deepened our relationship while solving family mysteries
• The way DNA research has added a new dimension to our family history journey together

The Power of One Story

This episode isn't just about my dad and me – it's about the magic that happens when family history becomes a shared adventure. Our weekly sessions started with a simple goal: figure out how our DNA matches connect to our family tree. But they've become so much more. Between the research and discoveries, we share our weekly highlights, work through challenges, and strengthen our bond as father and daughter.

"We can collaborate, we can talk about different things... we're talking through this the whole time and we can see each other's expressions and sometimes we don't say a word for several minutes because we're both researching something. But it's that connection together that's so important to me, that we're doing this together." (Steve Cowan)

What makes this story powerful isn't the genealogical discoveries (though those are exciting!) – it's the consistent, intentional time we spend together. Even when I'm traveling for work or he's on vacation, we keep our Sunday night appointment. It's become sacred time, proving that family history isn't just about the past – it's about strengthening present relationships too.

Making It Work for Your Family

You might be thinking, "That's a lovely story, but my family situation is different." The beauty of shared family history is that it can adapt to any relationship and schedule. Maybe it's monthly FaceTime sessions with your sister to sort through old photos. Perhaps it's a weekly coffee date with your mom to record her memories. Or it could be teaching your teenage son how to use DNA matches to find his cousins. The key isn't in copying someone else's formula – it's in finding what works for your unique family dynamic.

Your Story

Think about the family members in your life who might enjoy exploring family history with you. It doesn't have to be five hours every Sunday night – even 30 minutes once a month can create meaningful connections. The key is consistency and shared curiosity.

Story Seeds 🌱

Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.

1. "Mom, who first told you our family stories when you were growing up? What was your favorite story to hear?"
2. "Hey sis, remember those old photo albums at Grandma's house? Would you want to get together once a month and go through them together? I bet between the two of us we could figure out who everyone is."
3. "Dad, I found this interesting record about Grandpa's military service. Did he ever tell you stories about that time in his life?"
4. "I'd love to hear about what it was like when you first became a grandmother. Could we set aside some time for you to tell me about those early days while I record your memories?"

Story Sparks 🔑

Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.

1. Start a family group text or chat where you can share weekly discoveries. Keep it light and fun – share old photos, interesting records, or funny family stories you uncover.
2. Create a shared Google Doc or spreadsheet where you and your research partner can track DNA matches you're working on together. Include columns for match name, shared cM, potential connection theories, and research status.
3. Choose a specific family mystery and invite different family members to contribute what they know. Sometimes younger generations ask questions that lead to breakthrough discoveries.
4. Use Ancestry's collaboration tools to give trusted family members Editor access to your tree, allowing you to work together even when you can't meet in person. Set up regular check-ins to discuss new findings.

The real power of family history lies not just in the discoveries we make about our ancestors, but in the bonds we forge with our living relatives along the way. Whether you're sorting old photos with your sister, exploring DNA matches with your dad, or recording your grandmother's memories with your teenage daughter, these shared moments of discovery create their own family stories – ones that will be told for generations to come.

Ready to hear more stories that will inspire your own family history journey? Subscribe to Stories That Live In Us wherever you get your podcasts. And if this episode touched your heart, please leave us a rating and review – it helps other family story seekers find us.

© 2024 Crista Cowan. All rights reserved.