The DNA Match That Shouldn't Exist: A Story of Hidden Love
Have you ever wondered what secrets might be hiding in your DNA matches? What if that "impossible" match you're tempted to dismiss could lead you to a story that would change everything?
That's exactly what happened when Linda Goldman received an unexpected message about a DNA match that seemed too close to be true. "There must be a mistake," she replied, "I know all my first cousins." But sometimes the most powerful family stories are the ones we never knew we had.
From Impossible to Incredible
When Linda first saw the message from Aaron Mandel about his 94-year-old grandmother being a first cousin match, she was certain there had been a mistake. Growing up in a close-knit Jewish family, Linda knew all her first cousins – or so she thought. But that initial message would lead to an extraordinary discovery: her beloved Aunt Tilly had carried a secret across an ocean and through a century.
In this week's episode of Stories That Live In Us, I bring you a remarkable conversation with 100-year-old Millie Mandel, her son Marty, and cousin Linda. Their story weaves together threads of immigration, adoption, and the profound ways family love transcends biological connections.
The Whole Story
If you haven't heard this incredible family story yet, take a moment to listen:
🎧 Listen to the full episode to discover:
- How a casual comment at a family luncheon revealed a 57-year-old secret to Millie
- The touching Yiddish phrase Millie's mother used that held hidden meaning
- How DNA testing brought two families together after nearly a century apart
- The beautiful way Linda's family opened their arms to welcome Millie
- What this discovery meant to Aunt Tilly's known children and extended family
The Power of One Story
This story reminds us that family secrets don't always come from a place of shame – sometimes they come from a place of profound love and sacrifice. Millie's adoptive mother's words echo this truth: "It's not the mother who gives birth to the child, it's the mother who raises the child." Yet through the miracle of DNA testing, both kinds of maternal love can now be honored and celebrated.
Your Story
Think about the DNA matches you might have dismissed as "impossible." Consider the family stories that don't quite add up, or the casual comments that seemed odd at the time. Sometimes the most surprising discoveries come when we're willing to look past our initial assumptions and dig deeper into the possibilities.
Story Seeds 🌱
Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.
- For older relatives: "I've noticed you often say [family saying]. Where did that come from? Did your parents or grandparents say it too?"
- For parents or aunts/uncles: "What's the earliest memory you have of your grandparents? Did they ever tell you stories about when they first came to America?"
- For siblings or cousins: "Do you remember any stories about family members who helped raise other relatives' children? It seems like that was more common in past generations."
- For your children: "What questions do you wish you could ask your great-grandparents if you could sit down with them today?"
- For family gatherings: "Does anyone remember a time when we discovered we were related to someone we didn't expect? How did we figure it out?"
Story Sparks 🔑
Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.
- Create 8 custom groups in your AncestryDNA match list - one for each great-grandparent. Then, work your way through the first 50 matches on your list and see if you can figure out which of those groups each of those matches belong in. Sometimes family secrets reveal themselves through unexpected patterns in match groups.
- Review your AncestryDNA match list, do you have any matches that share more than 200 cM with you that you can’t place based on what you know about your family tree? These are the matches that might unlock a mystery.
- Look for immigration records within 9 months before births in your family tree – pregnancy might explain unexpected timing or locations of arrivals.
As Linda so beautifully expressed, "Stories are really important. I have a family tree that goes back now six or seven generations, and I have names and dates... and hearing this story just fills me with love and it's something that is important to me to pass on to future generations." Through DNA testing, we now have the opportunity to uncover those stories and bring healing to generations past and present.
Ready to discover more stories like Millie's? Subscribe to Stories That Live In Us wherever you get your podcasts. And if this episode touched your heart, please leave us a rating and review – it helps other family story seekers find us.
© 2025 Crista Cowan. All rights reserved.
