AncestryDNA Tests Reveal More Than Just Your Ethnicity: From Secrets to Sisters

Have you ever wondered if a painful loss in your family story could somehow transform into an unexpected gift? What if the very tool that reveals difficult truths could also heal decades-old grief?

That's exactly what happened in my family when a simple AncestryDNA test revealed not just interesting tidbits about my mom’s ethnic origins but also opened a door to healing that had been closed for fifty years. In this week's episode of Stories That Live In Us, I share a deeply personal story about how DNA testing brought four women in their 60s and 70s together in a way none of us could have predicted.

From Discovery to Connection

"I knew you would figure it out and take care of it," Frances told me that night, after I'd explained what the DNA results revealed. Those words still echo in my mind, reminding me how family secrets often wait decades for the right moment – and the right people – to come to light.

The story began in 2013, shortly after AncestryDNA launched. What started as routine cousin matching between my mom and her cousin Frances evolved into something much more surprising when Frances decided to test her sister Carol Ann. That decision set in motion a series of events that ultimately led to one of the more sacred experiences of my life.

"I literally sat there and watched my mom get a piece of her dad back, the dad that she had mourned since she was 17 years old."

She still mourns the loss but now, I think, she’s more fired up with questions she wants to ask him when she finally gets to see him again.

The Whole Story

If you haven't heard this deeply personal family story yet, take a moment to listen:

🎧 Listen to the full episode to discover:

• How a simple cousin match led to an unexpected discovery
• The delicate process of sharing life-changing DNA results
• Why location and timing matter when revealing family secrets
• How four women chose connection over confusion
• The unexpected healing that came from embracing a complex truth

The Power of One Story

This story reminds us that DNA testing isn't just about curiosity or fun discoveries – it's about real people and complex feelings and relationships. When my mom lost her father at seventeen, she lost not just his presence but also her connection to his side of the family.

"Through DNA testing, my mom lost a cousin, but she gained a half-sister and more than that she regained pieces of her father, stories and memories and connection that she thought were lost when he died."

What emerged that night wasn't just new relationships, but a fuller picture of a man my mom had only known as a child:

"What I didn't know, and what was shared that night was that he had also helped pay for college, not just for Francis and Carol Ann, but for some of the other cousins who had wanted to go to college. He had helped with down payments on houses. He just was such a caretaker of the people in his life."

 

Your Story

Think about the DNA matches in your own list. Each one represents not just a biological connection, but a potential story waiting to be discovered.

"When I look at that family tree chart from our reunion - the one where Carol Ann appears under both brothers - I'm reminded that most family stories aren't perfect stories."

Story Seeds 🌱

Plant these conversation starters and watch your family stories grow.

1. What stories do you wish you had asked your parents or grandparents before they passed away?
2. How has your family handled unexpected discoveries in the past?
3. What family relationships have you lost touch with that you'd like to reconnect with?
4. How do you hope future generations will handle the complex parts of your family story?

Story Sparks 🔑

Unlock your family's hidden stories with these research techniques.

1. Go to your AncestryDNA Match list.  Have you already identified which side is Parent 1 and Parent 2?  (Don’t see that?  Get an Ancestry family history subscription and there are whole host of other tools available to you including SideView which splits your DNA matches into two groups so you can sort between the sides of your family.)
2. Have you identified the top five matches from each side? If not, do you have living parents, aunts or uncles, or first cousins that you could ask to test?  That could help you start to sort your matches out and verify your biological connection to each of the four grandparent lines in your family tree.
3. Before you come across a sensitive DNA discovery (and we all do at some point), think about a “what if” communication plan. Consider things like:  who needs to know first and how and where you might share the news.
4. Use the Custom Groups on AncestryDNA to group your matches based on which of your eight great-grandparents each match is related to you through.  This will help you start to quickly notice patterns when new matches show up.

"Sometimes, painful truths can lead to beautiful healing. As families grow and change, as you discover new chapters in your own family story, remember this - it is never too late for truth to bring healing."

I hope that by sharing our story, others might find courage in their own DNA discoveries.

"I hope that every family secret revealed through DNA becomes not a source of shame but an opportunity for connection. I hope that by sharing our messy, beautiful family stories, that we give others permission to do the same."

Ready to discover more stories about DNA discoveries and family connections? Subscribe to Stories That Live In Us wherever you get your podcasts. And if this episode touched your heart, please leave us a rating and review - it helps other family story seekers find us.

© 2025 Crista Cowan. All rights reserved.